I'm comparing my current life to the past few semesters at the University of Illinois, where my schedule was basically planned down to the half hour. Between classes, work, The Daily Illini and the Marching Illini, I felt I had a purpose every hour of the day.
Here in Spain, I'm taking 15 credit hours, which is usually what I try to take at Illinois. But I don't have a job. I'm not spending hours at the DI — instead, I write these blog posts. I haven't played my flute since my concert band's performance last semester, which is the longest I've gone without playing for as long as I can remember.
Monday through Thursday, I have a class from 9-10:30. Then, my next class is not until 4:30, and on Wednesday, it's not till 6:30. That's a whole lot of free time.
You may ask, "Why not explore Granada??" And I really wish I could. But, like I recently lamented on Facebook, I have absolutely no sense of direction. There's no internal map that tells me to turn right or left at the bajillionth plaza I come across. I'm convinced that the only reason I can be a tour guide at Illinois is because campus is literally a grid. But here in Granada, you can be walking on a street and continue straight at an intersection on what you think is the same street, but then you eventually look up at the street sign (which, by the way, are these tiny plaques on the side of buildings) and it's a completely different street. So there's that.
It's those times that I don't have a purpose — times where I don't have anything planned to do — that I start to feel homesick. So far, I've always been in my host family's apartment when those feelings happen. I'm not used to not having my own living space, especially after living for two and a half years on my own at college. And when I'm at home in Downers Grove, I know what I can and cannot do, and I feel completely comfortable.
Here, it's sometimes a guessing game. Can I just grab an orange from the fruit basket? How much time should I spend socializing with my señora? Where is the toilet paper stored? Did my señora really just offer me liver?
All these unknowns are tiring and result in feelings of loneliness. So, I turn to things that remind me of home.
I'll play classical music that I've played in orchestra before ("Pines of Rome" always does the trick). I'll munch on sweet and salty snacks (snacking really isn't a thing here). Recently the Wifi connection has been strong enough so that I can catch up on a few episodes of Downton Abbey, a T.V. show that my mom and I love to watch together at home. Even seeing Obama on T.V. is comforting, and I try to listen to his voice under the louder Spanish translation (desperate, I know). Facebook is great (well, my newsfeed isn't great until the afternoon here, when y'all finally wake up) for catching up with friends and family back home. Even though I'm sad I'm missing things on campus, I like seeing pictures and statuses from friends at Illinois. And I can always count on some off-the-wall comment from my Mormor on the pictures I post. (Aunt Anne and mom, you're in there too!)
Also, I've been going on runs with one of my host sister's friends, and he shows me areas of the city and even outside the city that I wouldn't be able to see on my own. He likes to practice his English as we run, so we have a Spanish/English jumble of a conversation as we (well, mainly I) huff on.
As much as I try, I don't think I'll ever get completely used to this feeling of not having a purpose because I've never been able to handle too much free time. I'm like a Border Collie that has to be exercised a lot or else it goes a little insane.
But I'm hoping that I'll get better at combating these feelings and in the meantime, make sure my schedule stays pretty full of things to do!
You may ask, "Why not explore Granada??" And I really wish I could. But, like I recently lamented on Facebook, I have absolutely no sense of direction. There's no internal map that tells me to turn right or left at the bajillionth plaza I come across. I'm convinced that the only reason I can be a tour guide at Illinois is because campus is literally a grid. But here in Granada, you can be walking on a street and continue straight at an intersection on what you think is the same street, but then you eventually look up at the street sign (which, by the way, are these tiny plaques on the side of buildings) and it's a completely different street. So there's that.
It's those times that I don't have a purpose — times where I don't have anything planned to do — that I start to feel homesick. So far, I've always been in my host family's apartment when those feelings happen. I'm not used to not having my own living space, especially after living for two and a half years on my own at college. And when I'm at home in Downers Grove, I know what I can and cannot do, and I feel completely comfortable.
Here, it's sometimes a guessing game. Can I just grab an orange from the fruit basket? How much time should I spend socializing with my señora? Where is the toilet paper stored? Did my señora really just offer me liver?
All these unknowns are tiring and result in feelings of loneliness. So, I turn to things that remind me of home.
I'll play classical music that I've played in orchestra before ("Pines of Rome" always does the trick). I'll munch on sweet and salty snacks (snacking really isn't a thing here). Recently the Wifi connection has been strong enough so that I can catch up on a few episodes of Downton Abbey, a T.V. show that my mom and I love to watch together at home. Even seeing Obama on T.V. is comforting, and I try to listen to his voice under the louder Spanish translation (desperate, I know). Facebook is great (well, my newsfeed isn't great until the afternoon here, when y'all finally wake up) for catching up with friends and family back home. Even though I'm sad I'm missing things on campus, I like seeing pictures and statuses from friends at Illinois. And I can always count on some off-the-wall comment from my Mormor on the pictures I post. (Aunt Anne and mom, you're in there too!)
Also, I've been going on runs with one of my host sister's friends, and he shows me areas of the city and even outside the city that I wouldn't be able to see on my own. He likes to practice his English as we run, so we have a Spanish/English jumble of a conversation as we (well, mainly I) huff on.
As much as I try, I don't think I'll ever get completely used to this feeling of not having a purpose because I've never been able to handle too much free time. I'm like a Border Collie that has to be exercised a lot or else it goes a little insane.
But I'm hoping that I'll get better at combating these feelings and in the meantime, make sure my schedule stays pretty full of things to do!
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